The Mother’s Golden light entered her womb – True Story
This is a true story of a sadhak of The Mother on how she consciously conceived her child. We recorded her sharing and transcribed it into this sharing. Certain confidential details alone we have removed so that confidentiality would be maintained.
In 1988 when we decided to have a child, even during the physical interaction, physical act, I was praying. It was very clear that my aspiration was for a soul that would come here for Her, to do Her work. So it wasn’t necessarily that I was praying for a soul from the ashram. I just wanted a soul that was Hers, for Her, and to be dedicated to Her. So, even during the physical act, I was praying and aspiring, that this is for the purpose of conceiving a child. I think pretty much that same time I conceived.
This must have been July of 1988. That year was 8 8 88 and that year they had decided to open The Mother’s Room for 8 8 88. I lived in United States in those days and I decided to come down. For three days I went to the airport every day, every day, every day, but I couldn’t get tickets. And I said, Mother, if you don’t want me to come so be it. I mean, this was my prayer to her and my husband calls me and says that he can get me a ticket on Air India to go. I told him if you drop me anywhere in India, even hanging on to a tail of the aircraft, I will go, as long as I can reach Pondicherry. And thus I reached here at like 3 am on the morning of 8 8 88. I went up, came, did the darshan and everything. And then I told my very close friend here that I was pregnant. She said, how do you know? So I said, I am a day late and I am very, very, very accurate. She said that you can’t tell within a day. I said, no, I’m telling you I’m pregnant. So those days, there was the hospital, that was gloomy only here. I said I won’t have any needles stuck in me. But I’m happy to do a urine test. Urine test normally after three months comes accurate. Blood is the most accurate one. My report came on the 9th. I am positive. I still have that little piece of paper from them saying positive and I took it and I went straight to the ashram to pray to Her. And I stood by the pillar on the side when you enter. I always look up at her room and I chat with Her. My prayer is chatting with Her.
That day they didn’t put those covers on the top. It was a clear view to The Mother’s room. And, I said, I have conceived, give me a soul. My aspiration was for that soul who will come for Her. And this must have been, the lights were on, so about 7.00 or 7. 30 and it was evening. It was very clear. I could see this golden light coming straight from Her womb to enter my womb. And to me that was an endorsement, that was Her seal, that your aspiration, your prayer has been answered.
I went back to the United States and my entire pregnancy was there, the ntire nine months. I worked for three or four months during that, like from 11 am to 4 pm. Because my boss said to me that you need to come and you can come part time. Don’t quit, come part time. I used to travel by train to go to work.
I didn’t read any newspapers, no magazine, not even like a Reader’s Digest, no television. I only read spiritual books and I remember very vividly that I read Thoughts and Aphorisms and The Mother’s Volumes. I read the books cover to cover, cover to cover. I read the Mahabharata and I read the Ramayana. People kept telling me you can’t, you should not read Mahabharata because then they say, you know, you will have problems and conflict in the family. I’m not superstitious, I don’t believe in these things. So I only read spiritual books throughout. My due date, was supposed to be 14th of April.
That year, 14th of April, according to the lunar calendar, was Ram Navami. So I said, very good day, he’ll come on a very good day. On 28th of March, I had my water bag burst, so I had to go to the hospital. And my thought was, 28th of March, has no meaning and no significance. Okay, Mother, whatever you want.
So I go in, and it becomes midnight, and the date turns into 29th March. And my mind says at least it’s an even number. I did not know the significance of the twenty ninth of March. I had no idea what it was. He was born 29th of March and if you were to convert the US time to the India times it was near about the same time that Mother met Sri Aurobindo for the first time. And that was the year they were celebrating the 75th anniversary of Mother and Her meeting with Sri Aurobindo – 1914 to 1989 or 75 years.
We named him A…. We came home, and from the very first night we were home, he has slept to The Mother’s music. Like I had said before, Sunil Da’s music and Mother’s music, all this used to be played to him in the night. In his room it would be playing constantly and he would sleep. This boy, till the age of four, only spoke Hindi.
We speak different dialects, so we said let him learn one Indian language and let him learn it properly. My helper was a woman from Delhi. She spoke very good Hindi. So I said, okay, we have to speak Hindi with this boy. And when I grew up, my father always told me stories from the Ramayana, Mahabharata and all these stories. So that’s what I wanted to do for him. By then those Amar Chitra Katha comics, we didn’t have anything better quality than that. Then those Mahabharat serials and all were running on VHS, we could get them. That was the only thing he could watch on TV. He spoke only Hindi. He could tell you every story from the Mahabharat, from the Ramayana. He could challenge you on those stories. If you go into a temple, you don’t know whose temple it is because all the faces look alike. He could identify by the damru or the naag or the kamal in the hand whose statue this is. By those he would identify Ram, Sita, Radha, Krishna, Vishnu, Lakshmi, they have all these. And he would walk in, and even though they all look alike, he would walk, and he would say, yeh yeh hai, yeh woh hai, yeh woh hai, yeh woh hai, you know. The pandit also used to say, who is this child who knows all this?
One time when he was like two and a half, he was lying down like this on the couch. My mother asked him, “ab kya kar rahe ho” (what are you doing)? He said Yes, I’m Vishnu. I am resting on Sheshnag, you know.
So he, he had all those signs that he was showing till he started going to school at the age of four. When English takes over, the world starts influencing you. Within two weeks, he was sleep talking in English. He is 34 today and he still has this connection. He spent a lot of time in Pondicherry in his growing up years. He is now married and he’s leading a worldly life. All this is all there within you. It’ll come to the fore when She wants it. In his aspirations, my prayer is the same. He’s yours and with Her grace. I never became a possessive mother. I always had the sense of, I am a caretaker.
Yes, I bore the child because you need an instrument to do this. But, it’s not like this is my son or I’m possessive about him or I don’t want him talking to you or this or that. Her grace that I was not possessive.
(Story to continue…)